Long Night

It is still dark out. Single digit weather in early December.  I hear a few cars slowly moving across the snow packed street.  But, all is still and dark and quiet.  Cowboy yelps now and then in his sleep as his respirations increase during dream time. His feet paddle like he is chasing a little critter in his sleep. Most of the critters are in deep hibernation right now.

Why am I posting right now?  I had a totally, sleepless night. I did not have any caffeine before I went to bed, and I took my usual sleep meds.  My brain just decided to stay awake.  So, tonight I didn't fight it. I just lay awake during this long night.

I skimmed through Jacob Teitlebaum's book "From Fatigued to Fantastic!"  Love that exclamation point at the end. So confident.

I took a questionnaire test to see if I fell into the chronic fatigue category or the fibromyalgia category.  Came out fibromyalgia.

I got up and had one small delicious piece of Dove Peppermint Bark that my friend Cindy got me hooked on.

I ordered some new vitamin supplements. All packed into one powerful formula.  Maybe I'll be more compliant just taking the big scoop.

I have to get up now and start my day.  Feed Cowboy. Wake up my body that did not sleep.

It's been over a year since I truly stayed up all night. Not one minute of dozing.

 It's very still out here in the country.

My legs ache a bit but I'll do some tai chi, take a warm bath, and this morning will be a strong cup of coffee day.

I hope you have been resting peacefully.  Today I choose to embrace the beauty of the day and remain a little awake.

Peace, Healing, Humor,
Cora

Rhythm

Fatigue is familiar to me these days.  Often, my sleep is not restful.  When the alarm goes off in the morning, I pace through the snooze alarm cycle and sleep too long.  I wake up even more exhausted, and disappointed about the wasted time. I used to be one of those annoying morning people, up at sunrise with my internal alarm, ready to go on a morning run and do farm chores.

Today, the sun awakens me.   I lie on my comfy wool bedding a few minutes, and slowly slide one weighty foot off the bed, then the other.  Dangling on the edge, I consider my options.  I could take a vicodin and have some coffee to wake me up. That would do the trick.  Or, I could do my morning round of tai chi, and make some green tea. Both would start my engine. 

Still half asleep, I shuffle into the living room, pull up the shades and chains of sunlight glisten on the frosted pasture.  The neighbor's horses graze rhythmically.  The suet bricks are breakfast for the red-bellied and downy woodpeckers. 

I start the water for tea and turn on my favorite Japanese instrumental music.  My legs ache and my fingers are cool and cramped.  The opening stance of the tai chi form is called the horse stance.  It grounds me and connects me to the earth.  I face the window. I see the horses.  I inhale.  I focus on my tan t'ien, the Chinese word for center- the life force. I breathe with my heart.  I am still.  I honor gravity.   Cowboy, my border collie ambles over to me and settles close.  He sighs and collects my quiet energy.  

As I breathe and start the tai chi form, my mind is present, but random thoughts start to enter.  "What do I need to get done today?"  I let the thought float away. Another thought sneaks in.  Just passing through.  I feel the chi in and around my body; my arms float, gently propelled by my tan t'ien.  My muscles are receiving nourishment and they relax.  The blood vessels in my fingers dilate and become warm.  My breath continues to nourish me and I gently awaken.  

☀ the fish need breakfast too.