Ambivalence

No picture today.  Just an apology.  Over the past few months I've ditched my blog, pulled the haiku into hiding.  Every now and then I feel a need to go under the radar, into true anti-tech, Luddite territory. I do that and end up hiding my blog.  But there is certainly more to it. I do crave privacy.  I crave time for my own creativity. And life sometimes is low on spoons.  The more to it, I believe, is a desire now and then, or a wish perhaps, that if I pull the blog, maybe my disease will disappear along with it.  I mean, what's wrong with a little fantastical thinking now and then, you know?  Dorothy did it.  She just clicked those ruby slippers three times, announced "There's no place like home," and somehow she landed back in Kansas, safe at home, with Toto in her bicycle basket.  So, I allow myself a little fantasy as well, but when reality bites again, I miss the writing, I miss the community and education that evolves through blogging.  At times too, I wonder if I am "overexposing" a bit too much. The more I know about chronic pain, the invisible variety, the kind where you hear "you look so beautiful, how could you not be well." statements that are so kind and well intended, yet somehow you feel "less than", when you hear it.
So, I am back from Oz, and me and the Tin Man had a dandy time.  But, now it's time to write about my life that has something to do with pelvic pain, and a lot to do with living.

Welcome Back,
Cora